image, DFW Furniture and Inteiors
Today's ebay listing is aimed squarely at the back garden completist (and, possibly, fans of The Wonder Stuff).
Now, if you are the type of person whose garden is equipped with patio furniture, little solar powered lights, a garden pond (possibly with ornamental goldfish), colourful shrubberies, garden ornaments and the odd bird bath, then you're probably thinking to yourself "Well, my garden is already complete..."
To which I would say - stuff, nonsense and poppycock! What garden can consider itself truly complete without a set of Freisian Cow and Calf statues?
DFW Furnitures and Interiors, rather truthfully, advertise their set (which currently retails at £1.107) in the following way:
For that unique talking point when your neighbours and friends come round to visit, this amazing fantastic life size Friesian Cow and Calf statue set is ideal!
I have to agree that it certainly would be a unique talking point. Of course, that talking point would probably be 'what the hell did you buy those for?' but, nonetheless, it is a talking point. And if you're the sort of person who finds it difficult to engage others in conversation, it is surely a perfect introductory topic when you're trying to impress members of the opposite sex:
"Hello, I've got a lifesize cow statue in my back garden. Would you like to come and see it?"
Now if that is not pick-up gold, I don't know what is.
But, why stop at the garden? Installing a life size Friesian Cow and Calf statue set in the living room is bound to be even more of a talking point with the neighbours - maybe use it to dry the washing or as a handy condiment shelf. Really, at £1,107 it is looking more and more like a bargain...
Finally, can I just say that I am very proud that I have managed to write an entire blog entry about cows and yet kept it udderly free of cow puns.